Current mood:	dunno, dude...
Current music:	prodigy

tirrred
last night i went to a show for half-caste at this bar called hogues (HO-geez) and it was a good time. i started tired, and ended delerious, since yesterday sucked BIG TIME. (until around 7, at the show). does anyone know what that things called where you dont remember something that happened to you when you were younger until your older, because your brain pushes it away until you have enough maturity to deal with it? its not post traumatic stress disorder, but i think its kinda like that. its sorta hard to look something like that up online, and so any help would be appreciated. i get weird when im overwhelmed. really, really weird..and crazy. and wreckless. its out of controlll, man! itz off tha chizz-ain! ahhh fuckin exactly. this is sort of what i mean. whatever, its not like my brain is in tip-top thinking shape, anyway. its sorta...foggy. hazy. fuck, i'll just say it. smokey. my brain is smokey.it's filled with smoke. but hey, its not like i have to go long periods of time thinking about it/anything. it all just floats away.its great. fantastic. tremendous. totally awesome. stupendous...i think.
i wish it wasnt, but its completely fucking true, physically and mentally and emotionally and psychically and telekenetically...the higher you are, the harder you fall. so if youre low, and you get high, thats just setting yourself up to fall even lower. youve gotta keep that in mind, because it sucks. and i formerly had this moral, (yes, i know, gasp, me? morals?) or maybe just a principal, that its not good to get high when your down, because your brain makes this connection of feeling good and being high. and then you dont care if your getting lower, as long as sometimes you get high. and then you dont notice your getting lower,because your always high, until your too low, way too low, and your barely getting up any more. and thats not me, and im glad, and thats why i began the moral/principal thing months or a year ago, and that was fine, except now i forget when it comes down to yes of no, because my brains all fuckin clouded in the smokey haze film that never fully leaves anymore. this sounds drug addict-y. thats not how its supposed to be, not even how it is. im just going too fast. life moves pretty fast. if you dont stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it. ferris beuller is a good man. good man. he knows what im talking about. life moves fast. and it just gets faster. and i used to be the chick who was arguing with keenan that he walks to fast, and if you go slow the journey is more enjoyable. even if its just from rite-aid to albertsons. even if its from 8th grade to graduation. even if its california to nevada, then back to california, then to utah, then back to california, then to arizona, then to washington, then back to california, and all the stops along the way, wether theyre short or long or anything, its better. and now its not. but it probably secretly still is.
haha...does anyone else speed up on less sleep?